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Determining When To Let Go

Weekly Zen #2 went really well, it was so wonderful to see so many new faces! I appreciate you all for inviting friends and family to join. This lights my heart up, because healing and growing TOGETHER is so much more powerful than doing it all alone. That's what this whole endeavor is about. I'd love to share with those who didn't make it to this week's session what we covered.

We began with a quick ten minute yoga flow that was centered around opening up the heart chakra. There are postures and positions that we can practice to activate different energy centers in our bodies called chakras. The heart chakra is a great center to activate. It is located directly in the middle of our seven chakra system, with our solar plexus, sacral, and root chakras below it and our throat, third eye and crown chakras above it. The heart is like a balancer for our entire energy body. The health of our heart chakra governs how we accept and give love (both to others AND ourselves), how we forgive, how we empathize with others, and how we feel safe in our own bodies. Activating the heart chakra gets emotions flowing and opens you up, so it is a great practice to meditate after and be gentle with yourself, which is exactly what we led into.

Following our yoga flow, I led the group into a discussion about determining when to let go. I shared my personal thoughts on how we can let go with the most grace and ease. I have shared below what I prepared about determining when to let go. After, the discussion portion of the session, we finished with a guided meditation titled 'Emptiness Allowing for Newness.' If you'd like to see a recording of 'Emptiness Allowing for Newness,' you can find it under the Guided Meditations tab on my website.

"It can be challenging to know when it is time to release something or someone from your life. No one enjoys separation from something that once had meaning in their life. There are varying levels to our attachments to different things, therefore, there are varying levels of pain or grief that come up when we are faced with releasing that something from our lives.

So we ask, how do I know when it is time to move on? How do I know when it is over?

Determining this requires a great amount of strength and the ability to see your situation as objectively as possible. As cliche as it sounds, making a pros versus cons list can be immensely helpful. While making the list you must ensure you are being honest with yourself. The truth starts with what we tell ourselves daily. You cannot live an honest life and interact honestly with others if you do not begin by interacting honestly with yourself. Therefore, it is necessary to make a conscious daily effort to be honest with yourself. No sugar coating, no romanticizing, no denial. The truth can sting. It can make you want to look away or turn around, scream and run from it. But ultimately, the truth will catch up to you. It is your decision to either face your truth and take action based in courage and love, or to choose to take action out of fear. Living in fear is dangerous. If you are not aware of fear based living, you may wake up one day and realize that nearly every path you’ve taken in life was based in fear. Our society calls it the “safe route.” I am not telling you to go risk it all and throw away things that you have worked hard for, but rather, to begin observing yourself. Begin observing your patterns, what comes up for you when faced with certain situations.

Usually, looking at what we fear most gives us great insight into where we have opportunity for growth. Shifting the way you view a fear of yours opens up the potential to master that fear. You no longer see it and shy away from it. You see it and analyze it and take from it what you can to better yourself. For example, if you have a large fear of being “alone” you may want to examine the relationships you have in your life, whether they be romantic, friendships or familial. Take a look at who you surround yourself with. Do you derive great joy from being around them? Do they inspire you? Do they respect you? Do you feel your emotional needs are being met by this person? Are you receiving as much as you give in this relationship? Are you taking more than you give? Instead of just accepting "this is a fear of mine," I choose to reframe that fear into personalized feedback from myself to myself for where I can heal. Try not to think too hard when answering these questions.

It’s best to do a grounding practice before you dive into questions like this, because so much of our knowing is in our bodies. Despite what we’ve been told our entire lives about all conscious processing happening in our minds, our bodies are an excellent tool for figuring out what is best for us and what is not. Your body immediately responds to something with tension or ease, confusion or clarity, moving towards or inching away. Practice whatever grounding technique works for you, maybe yoga, breathwork, listening to music, getting out in nature, sipping some tea, or going for a walk. Then, ask yourself these questions. See what comes up. Try not to react to what comes up. Simply observe. Like Lina talked about last week, allowing ourselves to feel without judgment is vital to our growth.

You reach a certain point where you take a good, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “can I get past this?” Can I truly overcome this challenge and return to a place that is healthy for both myself and others involved in the situation in question? If the answer is no, then you need to let go. No matter how painful it may be, how complicated the situation, or how many material items may be at stake ($$$). If you do not feasibly see yourself being capable of returning to a place of peace and happiness within yourself living out a particular life circumstance, then you must release that life circumstance from your life.

The emotional pain that comes with letting go is temporary. The only way out is through. If you want or need out, you need to create that door, find that key, and step on through.

There are doors in this life that are only wide enough for one person to fit through, are you going to walk through your door, alone or not, or will you remain watching others walk through their doors into their joy?"

My hope is that these words find you in a place of peace. If you are interested in discussing more with me, please do not hesitate to reach out, or join me for the next Weekly Zen Session. Next week we will be diving into Vagus Nerve Stimulation, a Hip Opener Yoga Flow, and a 'Finding Clarity' guided meditation. The next Weekly Zen session is Tuesday June 22nd at 7:00 pm CST. Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a wonderful week.

With Gratitude,


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